‘Broken’, what are your thoughts when you hear this word? Let me pen down that for you. Your primary thoughts would be, ‘Hurt, betrayed, unsuccessful, socially-exclusive, etcetera. Now to summarize all of this, our entire teenage life revolves around all of this. There’s a reason why when every author, from Shakespeare to Salinger, writes about young people, they can’t avoid the truth that being young is so painful; it’s almost too much to feel.
Even if you are from a well-adjusted family, life is still not easy for you because your parents pressurise you to think about your future and some of the parents force you to do something you never wanted to do. Your friends influence you to do bad or good stuff, even if you have no interest in doing it but you do it anyway to seem cool or not to be disliked. The society says if you want to be accepted, you shouldn’t have any vivid or different characteristics. You should not have any flaws as well as perfections. You should fit in the school of fishes who should not get out the pond to surf the stream or the waterfall; otherwise you’d be regarded as a rebel.
On the other hand, social media wants us to be different. It makes us hate our own bodies and that results in them making a new mould for ourselves. The mould could be good but the chances of being bad is more. Why? Because people are not able to finish the line of perfect beauty standards set by the media. Even if you try to be a part of the happening you are taken down by haters. And even if you reach the finish line, the world wants you to run more… If you don’t, you are mercilessly thrown out. A living hell, isn’t it? In my opinion, hell is better! Because of all this, we are broken, shattered into a million pieces. Our life is nothing but a crushed earthen pot which was once filled with innocence and dreams.
Adults, parents, grandparents never seem to understand us. According to them our mental health is of no importance if we are physically fine. But let me tell you this, “Adults are lucky people who got out of the teenage limbo alive.” If we minus out the social media part, our adult generation went through all of this, maybe their circumstances were even worse with so less awareness and no help cry, but as I am not here to compare, I would like to conclude by saying that no one gets through life with ease. Even when you feel someone made out easily, I’d like you to stand at that person’s place and go through all of his/her highs and lows, euphoria and despair, success and failure. And now I would like you to see the bigger picture with me…
How many of you wondered, what does the title mean? What is ‘Kintsugi’? In Japanese, Kintsugi is a powerful metaphor for life which means that nothing is ever truly broken. It is an ancient Japanese art where broken pots are mended together. Kintsugi beautifies the breakage and treats it as an important part of the pot’s history. Believing that the broken pot is not something to be discarded, but as something more precious than it was before, it is reassembled! Obviously, I am not telling you to objectify yourself as a mere broken pot but I would appreciate it if you put your journey up until now in the place of the pot and imagine how many times you have been broken? How many times have you fallen only to be mended in a different shape? Many times, I have been broken and I wanted to stay like that, cold and pale and motionless, but once I got up, I noticed how beautiful my body and my mind had become. How beautiful my glued scars were and how meaningful this experience was. Well, how does one do that or I do it? According to me, it has two salient keys.
Finding the Ying to your Yang: By this I do not mean finding the Romeo to your Juliet or in other words your lovers. Ying Yang are two opposite forces of nature but when they are together there is balance and peace. The black and the white do not consume each other but revolve around themselves completing each other. Similarly, you need someone or something to help you mend yourself, to help pickup yourself. There is no shame in asking for help! For instance, I am good at expressing myself through writing but I am horrible when it comes to talking. Many people remain untouched by words, but voice, they listen. So, I need someone who could voice my thoughts and emotions. Again, it need not be your better half or soulmate. It could be your friend, sibling, parents, guitar, tennis, dance, or even you, yourself! You or the person or the thing acts as a glue, a very strong adhesive to help you fix yourself. It helps you to reassemble yourself in a different pattern you’ve never known. If your Yang is virtuous, you will have a beautiful design. A design of betterment, sanctity and boldness. If your Yang is bad, you’ll seldom build yourself and even if you do get back up, it would be to no avail. It is in your hand; it is your own dive. Nevertheless, I hope I find my Yang and so do you!
Extinguishing the tempest: Let go of regrets, your bad past and your mistakes but never forget why they leave a scar. It is just naïve to be scarred over and over by the same tempest. Also, let go of the toxic people or surroundings or relations. It does you no good but degrade your health even more! Let me tell you that letting go is not easy, it is one of the most difficult things you would ever do. At first it is difficult, at second it is more difficult but eventually it gets easier. I know you have read about this many times but I will keep reminding you of this until you get better for us and importantly for you!
If you get these keys, trust me, you’ll be a beautiful scarred mended person. A reminder that being scarred or flawed is not being weak nor is it being hideous. It is a testimony, a proof that you made through this cruel journey of teenage life. You not only applied Darwin's theory physically but also mentally. Be proud of yourself and go on and never look back. As Henry Page rightly said, “Scars are not reminders of what’s been broken, but rather of what’s been created.”
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