I never knew what this term “Stockholm syndrome” meant. I would always associate it to the one direction song. But that was before I met you. Nothing lasts forever wasn’t a part of our plan. We were both damaged and living in our own void. But when we met it was like our voids shared their space to become one. Slowly both of us filled the others void. I watched our lives get intertwined and fall apart. We both did. But we didn't know it would be as begrimed as it got. Now we cant even smile without thinking about all lies, the troubles and the heartbreaks. Now we don't even feel safe in the other persons arms anymore. But maybe only you feel that. Maybe I feel something different. I don't even know what I feel. Sometimes its a plethora of feelings just breaking down on me which
make my tears leak. I’ve done it for the last few months but I know I’m tired of this.
Erasing something that is so strong in your memory is equivalent to feeling all of the emotions again.
But how will you know that I'm not over our kiss? Because to you it
never felt like anything. What do you mean things cant be the same? If you felt that way then you wouldn’t be wallowing all over my phone. Truth is, I’ve missed that but I cant tell you that because it will just fuel that monstrous ego of yours which will eventually break my heart all over again. I've missed us but I'm afraid to tell you that because you will say something that will break my heart. So its only fair if you help me find my person because it clearly wasn’t you after all the chaos that we had been through. We promised an always and forever. If you would’ve kept your end, there would be nothing for us to mend. Why do I love you more than I love myself? Is it wrong? Even after hurting me so many times, I still come back to you. Is it wrong? Even after lying to me so many times, I choose you. I have always chosen you over everyone else, sometimes even over myself. Is it wrong? How can you do something you know would hurt me and expect me to forgive you for everything you have ever done? Yet I forgive you because I love you.
Is it wrong? I hate that every time a song plays, I think of you. I hate that every time I think of my future, I think of you. I hate the way you take me for granted but I hate myself even more for letting it come to that. Like you say, I hate that I love you. But that's not entirely true. I hate how much I love you. I hate that I love you more than you love me. I know you’re going to deny it but we both know its true. “Move on from it” is what this is about. After this, I am not going to utter a word about it because its in the past and its over (hopefully). But sometimes, just sometimes, I’ll lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling while the thought of you will cross my mind and I will remember all our memories and think about how you were so right for me. You were the only one who has been right for me all along and there is no one else I’d rather be stuck in Stockholm syndrome with.
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