Here’s the deal - dating today, is far from black or white, forget being colourful. Instead its fifty shades of grey ( and not necessarily in the fun way ). We constantly find ourselves in this grey area where there is no absolute definition of being single or taken. A place where communication takes the down low and talking about hard facts is avoided. A place where there are a thousand unanswered questions about your ‘almost-relationships’ eating you up from the inside and the concept of the future is unknown.
Millennials today are simply afraid of commitment. We crave for the validation, intimacy, companionship, and ask long as ‘the talk’ of accepting responsibility enters the door, we seem to be satisfied. We are phobic to face reality and we have become the kind of people who are never honest about who we want and what we want. If the significant other steps up, we resort to ‘ghosting’ which seems to be a pretty convenient option these rather than telling the person how you feel.
You’re extremely fortunate if you find someone who is on the same page as you. These are incredibly rare situations and usually stem from friendships. Dating is a beautiful experience, only if interwoven with trust. Im not going to be a hypocrite here, I too have been jealous and insecure in my previous relationships, but can you blame me? We have grown up in a world curated by our world itself where we have epic loves but also earth shattering tales and most often real life experiences of heartbreak, adultery , disloyalty and abandonment. Where there always seems to be someone more good looking than you, or more appealing than you and where you think you have to compete with all of them to stay in the spotlight of your relationship. We want to scan through each other’s phones, peak to see notifications and know every second of their whereabouts. We ignore and play ‘hard to get’ to get someone’s attention and that is irony at its ripest.
Through the unparalleled roller coaster of my dating life and unrequited love, I can now successfully say that the best person you could ever be in a relationship with is yourself. Emotionally invest in yourself, treat yourself with over priced dinners , pleasure yourself (kinky , I know ) and write long emotion spilling letters to yourself expressing how much you love you. You’re the hottest boyfriend or girlfriend you could ever have. Show yourself off, cry to yourself, and at the same time, uplift yourself to be a better partner for yourself, and if , by chance , you happen to find that 90’s romance, hold on to it. Someone who leaves yellow daisies at your door, who would shower you with truthful compliments and someone who would bring down the stars just to see you smile. I know it all sound unrealistic , but believe it or not, people like that do exist in their purest and most wholesome forms. Someone who loves you for the way you love yourself.
Therefore, we must fall in love and then rise in love, and I mean it in every poetic and literal sense.
“Your biggest commitment must always be to yourself ” — Bridgett Devoue
Comments